Articles

Articles

Tear Down the Jefferson Memorial!
Why? I'll tell you why! It's a piece of crap!
The Millennium Question
When should you hold the big party? Here's the answer!
The Cloth Monkey Quirky Babes
I worship celebrity women, too, but I'll bet you don't know who they are!
The Jan Smithers Drooling Fan Worship Page
Ok, I said I'd never do a fan page. But it's Bailey, man!
Judy Tenuta
My little tribute to the Chicago Love Goddess.
Tom Swift and His Incredible Web Page
The lanky blonde 17-year-old and his stalwart pal Bud.
My Letter to Newt Gingrich
I wrote this letter in July 1997. Looks like he read it.
Amazingly Stupid Statistics
Why does sticking a number on something make it believable?
The Cloth Monkey Quotes
Tidbits of brilliant writing from all over.
The Top Ten Songs I Wish I'd Written
When I do the headphones and the air guitar at midnight, these are the songs.
Generic Marital Argument
Save yourself the trouble of those off-the-cuff, spontaneous arguments!
Heroes
A tribute to my childhood heroes, and a discussion of the Command Module Pilot Curse.
A Stretch On The River
Richard Bissell and the Great American Novel.

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This page last updated February 27, 2008